Mother's Day

Attended what will probably be my last AA noon meeting for this year's FL excursion in Kissimmee today. Very moving meeting, especially from mothers at the extremes of the sobriety spectrum and in between;

• a newly sober mother agonizing over the parenting mess cased by her addiction, and loosing children because of it
• to a few in their first year expressing gratitude for repair occurring with their own moms and with their own children,  
• to old timers full of gratitude and appreciation for the gifts that sobriety has brought to those relationships, giving AA the credit as the platform that made the journey possible.

Lots of tears there. That's what I like about AA meetings, real people, real stuff, the raising of the human being to fullness. There were some young ones running around distributing a rose (someone had donated a bunch)  to each mom. So in front of us joyful children, with available parents. Fully available, body, mind and spirit.

I was reflective about what sobriety has meant to my relationships with my kids. As a drinking parent I was mostly there physically and financially but mostly absent mentally and spiritually. Even on the physical and emotional level it was obligatory and resentful. Scouts, soccer games, school plays, concerts, taxi services, on and on, yuk. Time and resources away from what me, myself and I wanted. On top of it, a house and yard needing constant attention. We bought a fix-it-up starter home in 1977 and it stayed in fix-it-up condition for a long time. No shortage of grand plans and grandiose ideas ("let me get a beer and figure this out") but way short on action and execution. ("the game is on!"). Endless blame and resentments, promises broken, frustration.

Then a moment of grace, a glimmer of hope, a willingness to try something different.

Then sobriety started and a journey of growing up. 31 years later, a lot more balanced, a lot less resentful, grandchildren that have never seen me drink and children fully aware of AA's role in bringing them some semblance of a father. Still flawed for sure, but what alternate universe would there be had this not occurred? We know that addiction is progressive and affects everyone, but we also know the recovery is progressive and affects everyone.

And father is grateful for the spouse (and great mother) who demanded I put in those appearances and met minimal commitments so that the family unit could survive until it could thrive, thanks to AA.

I'd like to think that my efforts at least put a dent in the cycle, and serve as example. Small efforts, but leveraged by huge contributions of energy and perspective from the program and the fellowship. So after 31 years, another magical meeting, a short hour on a Sunday morning to remember that life, sober life, is good indeed. Happy Mothers day

American Mirror - Bernie, Hillary and Trump

Well, Cruz and Kasick bowed out of the GOP primary so its just Trump now to represent the regressive, repressive fear-based side of American cultural world-views.  We still have Bernie soldiering on for the progressive vision and of course Hillary carrying the status quo banner for the powers that be (don't be fooled by the Bernie-forced rhetoric, she is Illuminati all the way.)

So now its like a perfect mirror for the culture as a whole and the individuals in it. Well done! Stark, easy choices, that’s what we like and no matter which of Hillary or Bernie moves on, the general election choice will be a no-brainer (for those that get off the couch and actually vote, that is). Problem is, a Democrat choice for status quo may not generate enough turnout to overcome the energized USA uber alles crowd, who will turnout for Trump. Will I turn out? Well if it is Trump/Bernie general election sure I will, the revolution he speaks of (and has been working on his whole life) is long overdue. Yeah, I was a Clinton cheerleader back in the 90's . Who could deny budget surpluses and that health care needed fixing? But I did not see coming the downside of de-regulation, trade deals, and jailing the underclass (Bernie did). But in hindsight, Bill just set the table for the Bush/Cheney  gravy train. Now he's in bed with Nestle, the company that believes humans don't have a right to free water.

I for one am not convinced that the corporate takeover of America (and its resulting continued decline for the 99%) will proceed any slower under a Hillary reign. The confusion and power struggles under a Trump reign would most likely result in continued gridlock (better) ; unless a Cheney-like running mate is named, one who can work the system and  soften the worries for some middle voters and alleviate the fears of power brokers(worse).  But there is this: electing such a poor excuse of a human being (bigot, pathological liar, demagogue etc. etc, etc.), will wreck the GOP for decades. They will have to redefine, perhaps giving rise to more parties. And I have a suspicion he would be more sincere about overturning Citizens United than Hillary.

In short, maybe Trump hastens the revolution more than Hillary? The GOP in recent years has given us administrations led by amiable idiots, bumbling fools, and shills for oil and war profiteering, why not top it off with Trump's cup-runneth-over blend of pathologies? Maybe 4 years looking in the Trump mirror would be good for the electorate. I KNOW the stand up comics and late night talk show hosts are salivating for 4 years of material that writes itself.

So my advice to my fellows is to make it a more perfect mirror; do what you can in the very near term to make sure its a Bernie/Trump choice rather than a Hillary/Trump choice. Ask your friends to check the reflection and decide whether or not they really believe in the idea of America at all.